How to Ask Your Child About Their First Day of School (and Actually Get an Answer)

The first day of school is like a rollercoaster—equal parts thrilling, nerve-wracking, and exhausting. Your child has just spent hours navigating new teachers, classmates, school routines, and maybe even a lunch menu with some questionable mystery meat.

Naturally, as soon as you see them, you want all the details. You picture a heartwarming exchange, complete with animated storytelling and maybe a hug or two. But then you ask, “How was your day?” and… you get a single word:

“Good.”

Sound familiar?

The truth is, kids aren’t trying to keep you in the dark—they’re just tired, processing, and maybe not sure where to start. And for children with ADHD or learning differences like dyslexia, dysgraphia, or auditory processing disorder, that mental fatigue can be even more pronounced. These students often spend the entire day using extra focus and energy to keep up with academics, routines, and social expectations. By the time they see you, their “attention battery” is running on empty.

The good news? With the right approach, you can encourage your child to open up about their first day—and create an ongoing habit of meaningful after-school conversations that strengthen your connection all year long.

1. Skip the “How Was Your Day?” Trap

It’s too big of a question, especially for kids who struggle with working memory or sequencing. Instead, go small:

• “What was the best thing you ate at lunch?”

• “Who made you laugh today?”

• “What was the most surprising thing that happened?”

Specific, concrete questions make it easier for your child to recall moments and share details.

2. Choose the Right Time to Talk

Some children are ready to share at pickup, but others—especially those with ADHD—need time to decompress after the school day. Try chatting:

• Over a snack

• In the car on the way home

• While drawing or playing

• During bath time

Choosing a low-pressure moment can help your child feel more relaxed and open.

3. Focus on Feelings, Not Just Facts

School isn’t just about what they did—it’s about how they felt:

• “What made you feel proud today?”

• “Was there anything that felt tricky or frustrating?”

• “Did you feel brave at any point?”

For kids with learning challenges, these questions validate their emotional experience, not just their academic performance.

4. Model the Conversation

Kids learn how to share by watching us. For example:

“Something funny happened to me at work today—want to hear?” Then ask, “What was something funny that happened to you?”

This helps children with language processing or narrative challenges structure their own answers.

5. Make It Fun

Kids with ADHD often thrive when conversation feels like a game:

• “If your day was a movie, what would the title be?”

• “If you could be the teacher tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d do?”

A playful tone makes it easier for your child to share without feeling pressured.

6. Celebrate Effort Over Outcome

Whether they mastered a math concept or tried a new food at lunch, effort matters. For children with learning differences, recognizing progress (no matter how small) builds confidence and motivation.

The bottom line: The first day of school is a big deal for all kids, but it can be especially taxing for children with ADHD or learning differences. By asking specific, open-ended, and feelings-focused questions—and giving them space to process—you can move past one-word answers and create a stronger parent-child connection. These techniques aren’t just for the first day—they’re tools you can use all year long to better understand your child’s school experience.